Phrases like ‘slow and steady wins the race’ were passing through my thoughts. I reached over and took a melatonin from the bottle on my nightstand. Who wants to think about time at 3am?

…This is what I’ve noticed about time. When I first moved to Miami in August, I was alone. I knew no one here aside from a few connections that I met through a friend living here – my friend in fact moved to Aspen the same week that I moved to Miami, after living here for the past 15 years.

The days back then in August – October were longer than they are now – I remember thinking, why is everyone rushing around so much? there is so much time.

Now, only a few months later, the days are so much shorter. I am no longer alone. I’m finding that I need to schedule things to be sure that I get them done…Gone are the days of quiet contemplation and hours of meditation, prayer, and reading.

I now realize that God gave me those months of long, quiet days for healing – such a beautiful gift in our very busy world. And after a time of healing, life must go on – If I am to eat.

And now the issue becomes one of balance. How to balance the various aspects of life to create a life that is meaningful, purposeful, creative and fulfilling? Rather than simply rushing through the days trying to get it all done, how do we create our days, which become our lives?

This is our challenge.

To discover a solution is to become intentional in our quest to create a meaningful life. This requires that we actually know what we perceive a meaningful life to be. This may look quite different for each of us and until we take time to understand ourselves at the deepest core of self and recognize what is important to us, we may spend our lives on an incessant cycle of random chaotic busy-ness - The end result of such random chaos and unintentional movement will be to create a life of regret.

There is no time like the present moment to begin living your life on purpose. Take some time. Breathe. Reflect on the gift of life you have been given.

Become intentional and make the most of your days. 

Walk in wisdom toward them that are without, redeeming the time, Co.4:5 (KJV)

As a spiritual being living in a physical world, things can get a bit confusing at times. What is real?

What really matters?

My feet are firmly planted on the ground and so often I live in my head, which of course is attached to my feet.

Living in my head can be a dangerous situation.

In my head, I can rationalize just about anything. This reminds me of something a friend of mine noticed recently and shared with me, that rationalize can be thought of as rational lies – interesting, right?

Never thought of it like that before, have you?

We as humans like to think of ourselves as complex creatures. But, if you really get down to it, we really aren’t that complex, at all.

We want what we want. Whether it’s emotional, physical, psychological, or relational – we want what we want. Not really that complex.

We can dress it up, we can call it something else, but in the end, it’s our gratification that we are seeking.

Think about this for a moment.

What are you seeking and why?

The past several months have given me ample time to reflect upon and consider all that I value – divorce certainly has this effect because in divorce you lose so much. In the most simplistic sense, you lose the security that you have counted on in your most intimate relationship. All of a sudden, it’s not there. And when there is a vacuum like this, we humans tend to want to fill it.

So what do we fill the vacuum with?

This is a great time to respond with the ultimate, most beautiful and correct answer – God.

…but of course since we humans are just so complex, we tend to fill the vacuum with things other than God. And, to be blunt…most of this is just plain garbage – sad to say.

Sad indeed.

I’m sorry to be so direct and rain on the parade but the truth is that we are just sad creatures left to our own devices when we choose something other than God to fill the void.

It really is this simple and we poor humans spend a lifetime trying to figure it out.

Over and out – Roger that.

kind of took my breath away.

I sat in silence for a moment, not sure how to respond. Interestingly, just then, a tweet came through – the quote was by Emily Hancock, a researcher of women. The quote read, Many women feel a sadness we can’t name. What’s wrong is that we are disconnected from an authentic sense of self. 

I immediately texted back, yes, your photos will bring to light all that is you -

This tiny exchange sums up exactly why transformational photography sessions are so powerful. The idea is that the work captures you – the authentic you. Not some cardboard, paper, or glam version. Just you. You with all of your joy, your radiance, your bodaciousness, your sensuality, your insecurity, and yes, even possibly,  the sadness in your heart.

Unfortunately, many of us are uncomfortable expressing our authentic self. Author of In a different voice, Carol Gilligan wrote that most girls lose their voice around the age of 13 – we become more interested in pleasing our boyfriends/parents/teachers, etc… than in speaking our truth. The end result is that by the time we reach our 30′s and 40′s, we’ve forgotten who we are.

This becomes our inexpressable sadness.

Who are you, do you know?

What do you want? what do you need? what do you value? who and what do you love?

What would it cost you to begin living from your authentic self?

If these questions make you uncomfortable or bring up feelings of sadness, you are not alone…If and when you begin living from a place of authenticity – you may indeed find yourself alone. Having the courage to stop pleasing and start living will be very threatening to those around you who are not so empowered. They will try to keep you from rising – stay with us in our misery...

Yet, rise.

Arise, shine for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord rises upon you - Isaiah 60:1

Transcendent Soul

Shattered fragments

Pieces of the dream fall silently to earth

In the still surrender of the night 

Hope pierces the darkness

Awakened yearning stirs, giving rise to a new song,

Breaking through

The soul takes flight on wings triumphant – Karen Dunn, 2012

Michelle is a gifted physical therapist and healer, she is famous for her nurturing moves, a class designed by Michelle to empower women to connect and heal in learning to love their body through touch and movement – learn more about Michelle and her work here, http://www.michellealva.com.

…and while I wouldn’t ever recommend divorce for transformation – for Michelle and me, divorce has been a tremendous catalyst for creating positive change and transformation in our lives. Through the painful process of divorce and loss, we share a story of transcendence, in our choice and action to seek Divine healing.

I want to highlight the word choice in the above statement. In loss, we alone have the ability to choose our destiny – we can choose to allow God to heal our deepest wounds and emerge triumphant, radiant, and stronger – or we can choose to allow our circumstances to crush us to become fearful, angry and/or resentful.

It is our choice.

For Michelle and I, the choice is love, compassion, and grace. Not an easy one to navigate, but one that is bringing forth tremendous reward in our work  - to help guide others through a compassionate process to emerge through the pain and loss of divorce, cancer, or other traumatic experiences with greater self-awareness and self-love, hope, freedom and wholeness.

They say an image is worth a thousand words…

Be inspired – healing and wholeness is your destiny.

What would we ever do without our soul sistas???

I’ve had a best friend since I was 3 years old – it’s always been important to me. Someone to share secrets with, be silly with, eat dessert with, and sometimes, cry with – Nivita is this kind of friend, I am blessed to have her in my life.

Here’s the funny part about our friendship – from outward appearances, we are as different as night and day. I’m blonde, she’s raven; I’m Christian, she’s Hindu; I’m an eastcoaster, she’s a westcoaster; she’s a techie, I’m inept….the list goes on, but you get the point.

Somehow, we ended up in Miami within a few months of each other. 

So why am I sharing this post with you now?

Because I want you to take a moment and tell your bff how important she/he is to you. LIfe gets crazy, we’re busy and we often forget to voice our gratitude to those who enrich our lives.

The past few months have been so difficult for me emotionally – for those of you who have been through or are going through divorce, you may be able to relate. However, we can never truly know or understand someone else’s unique, internal experience. Nor should we presume to judge how another handles their pain in a similar situation, we must all be free to find our own way in the journey. A true friend accepts us in our weakness, and in our pain, without judging us according to how they might respond.

The longer my human experience, the more I realize how rare it is to find someone who can sit with me in my pain. Sure, it’s easy enough to find friends who will share our good times. It’s quite another to find a friend who will endure through a long, difficult and painful time, without attempting to hurry you along in your grieving process.

If you have been blessed with a friend like this be sure to thank her today and tell her how very grateful you are for her friendship.

Windblown – Nivita laughed when she saw this photo and said that she’s always wanted to see herself as a blonde – I’m happy to oblige.

Now go call your bff and start skipping…

My own twice disastrous attempts at marriage make this celebration especially meaningful. How the heck do you stay not only married to, but in love with someone for 50 years? In this day of a 50%+ marriage failure rate nationwide this is striking. Don’t you agree?

During the weekend festivities, I watched the past 50 years of my family’s lives, projected onto a screen – moments in time, eerily capturing and punctuating the reality of the brevity of life. A slide show painstakingly and lovingly created by my sister Marsha – 50 years of weddings, births, deaths, hand holding, belly laughs, graduations, training wheels, ridiculous hairstyles, tears, hospitals, hard times and good times, dances & senior proms, birthday parties, new cars and old cars, Aunts & Uncles, dogs, hikes and waterfalls, tailgating, school performances, homes, receding hair lines, hurt feelings, babies, vacations, sunday school, laundry, christenings, swimming holes, first kisses, arguments, diapers, ball games, gray hair and no hair, car trips, cookouts, sidewalk chalk, cousins, friends, parks, toothless grins - young and old, ponies, wins and losses, dance recitals, love, decades of music, singing, frustrations, fat days and skinny days, skinned knees, fashion and not, holidays, grandparents, Spring, Summer, Fall, and Winter…50 times.

Makes my head spin to take it all in.

50 years.

Have you ever taken a look at the snapshots of your life – over time, in a slide show?

Kind of puts all of life into perspective.

It’s short -

and it’s all about the moments.

Make the most of them.

I am realizing that this is all part of his beautiful plan for our lives. Some lessons are learned only in the vulnerable position of receiving. When we allow ourselves to become vulnerable, open and receptive, we become part of a supernatural, Divine plan.

In the acts of giving and receiving, each of us becomes a living, breathing vessel of God as we live out our spiritual gifts of mercy, compassion, humility and generosity. A shining example of Divine love.

Sow for yourselves righteousness,reap the fruit of unfailing love, and break up your unplowed ground; for it is time to seek the Lord, until he comes and showers righteousness on you. Hosea 10:12

So many times in my life, I’ve made the mistake of thinking that my prayers will be answered in supernatural, miraculous ways – and sometimes they are. But I am learning that more often than not, our prayers are answered through the acts and efforts of those around us in response to God’s leading.

Of course, we might argue that the response to the call is in itself a miracle. For how often do we tend to dismiss the still, small, quiet voice and neglect to act?

Sadly, we all miss opportunities because of our busyness or our preoccupation with the numerous distractions of life.  How often do we fail to see and respond to the needs of those around us?

Let this become a reminder to you today, and to me, to pray for clarity, wisdom and grace to respond to the call on behalf of another who is suffering and in pain. Remember that in many cases, people will not tell you that they are struggling, particularly those who may appear to be just fine – we need learn to become attuned to hear the still, small voice within to know when and how to respond.

Today, I am grateful for those among us who answer the call.

But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop – Luke 8:15.

While Jesus was still speaking, some men came from the house of Jairus, the synagogue ruler. Your daughter is dead, they said. Why bother the teacher any more? Mark 5:35

Ignoring what they said, Jesus told the synagogue ruler, Don’t be afraid; just believe. (v.36).

Don’t be afraid; just believe.

They say, our bones are dried up and our hope is gone; we are cut off…O my people, I am going to open your graves and bring you up from them; I will bring you back. Ezekiel 37:11,12.

In order for a resurrection, there must first be death.

Death of dreams.

Death of hope.

Death.

Then you, my people, will know that I am the Lord, when I open your graves and bring you up from them. I will put my Spirit in you and you will live, and I will settle you in your own land. Then you will know that I the Lord have spoken, and I have done it, declares the Lord – Ezekiel 37:14. 

Talitha Koum!  

Little girl, I say to you, get up! Mark 5:41.

Are you at a place in your life where you are surrounded by death? Are you at the end of your hope? Does all appear to be lost?

Have your dreams died?

Mine have.

This is where I am – surrounded by death and dry bones. All is lost. My hope, my plans, my dreams. Gone. Dead. I’m grieving. And in my grief, I have turned to my God, and he is here and he is saying, don’t be afraid, Karen; just believe.

Can these bones live?  Ezekiel 37:3

Don’t ask me to explain why I am experiencing the death of my plans and my dreams. I can’t explain it. I can’t explain why Christ allowed Lazaurus and Jairus’s daughter to die – he could have healed them. Yet, he allowed them to die. All I know is that he allowed them to die in order that His power could be revealed through a resurrection. In the same way, I have come to the end of all of my efforts, and it hasn’t been enough. I have prayed, I have trusted, I have hoped, to no avail.

The dream is dead.

And like Job, I will say, Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him – 13:15.

This is the entire point of our faith. To continue to trust in Him, when all of our dreams, hopes, and aspirations die.

My hope is in Him alone, and not the dream.

And so I await the resurrection.

Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God almighty, who was, and is, and is to come. Revelation 4:8.

I would further maintain that true joy is an act – an exceedingly difficult conscious act of one’s will. I’m learning that is far easier to fall into self-pity and despair when the inevitable trials of life hit home and threaten our stability – whether financial, emotional, relational, or physical.

So, what is a right relationship with God?

In my non-theologian interpretation of scripture, I believe a right relationship can be summed up as our complete dependence and trust in God alone. From Psalm 89:15, Blessed are those who have learned to acclaim you, who walk in the light of your presence, O Lord.

David’s words suggest that our right relationship with God is a learned experience. This implies that we have a choice in the matter. We choose joy in response to our trust in Him. This is not merely theoretical. Our choice is to be accompanied by specific, intentional action.

In my experience, I have noticed that too many Christians espouse concepts like joy, peace, and faith as if they are without roots or substance – merely vague, fleeting vapors of conceptual knowledge. These believers are best described in the words of Francis Schaeffer as, Paper Christians. 

In my opinion, for whatever that is worth, these Paper Christians ruin it for the rest of us by becoming mindless, hypnotic soundpieces – nothing more than the noise created by the so-called positive thinking generation. Perhaps this sounds a bit harsh but just how effective are positive affirmations in a burning building? If ever I find myself trapped in a burning building, the words on my tongue, as I’m running for the nearest exit, will be Help me Jesus - not, I‘m visualizing positive thoughts in the Universe…

Scripture tells me that when I am in right relationship with God that I can know and trust that I am protected. My joy comes from knowing that my God has my back, no matter what life throws at me.

…the joy of the Lord is my strength – Nehemiah 8:10

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust - Psalm 91: 1-2 

Thank you dear sisters & brothers, you know who you are.

If you make the Most High your dwelling- even the Lord, who is my refuge – then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent. For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all you ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone. You will tread upon the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent. Psalm 91:9-13.

Breakthrough.

For those of you who remain sceptical of the faith, know this – whether or not you choose to believe in the spiritual realm, it does exist. Your not believing does not negate the truth. It simply keeps you from participating in the greatest adventure you will ever know in this life and in eternity. Do you want to have an impact and truly make a difference in your life and in the lives of others?

Place your trust in God and in His mighty power.

More to come…